Sunday, September 23, 2012

Telenovelas

What's wrong with her?

Oh, that's Elena.  She's in a coma.

What happened?

She was in a car accident.  She was in the car with Bruno and they were running from the police.

Why were they running from the police?

Because Bruno had just kidnapped her.

Why did Bruno kidnap her?

Because he is in love with her, and because he wanted a ransom payment from the money she inherited from her engagement to his twin brother Alejandro.

Is that Alejandro?

Yes.

Where is he?

Well, Alejandro was on his way to visit his beloved Elena, because she was about to give birth.  But Bruno poisoned the pilot of Alejandro's private jet and the pilot died mid-flight, and now Alejandro is stranded on a desert island.

Who is he talking to?

That's the spirit of his departed mother.  She is the reason Alejandro is rich.  You see, Bruno and Alejandro were separated at birth; Bruno went off with his father, a very wealthy business man, and Alejandro went to live with his mother in a dirt poor neighborhood in the city Medellin.  The two brothers didn't know of each other's existence until one day they crossed paths.  It was around the time of their father's death, and the will, shockingly, handed down all the father's riches to his wife.  So, Alejandro and his mother suddenly became incredibly rich, and Alejandro was left to run his dead father's businesses.  None of this made Bruno, the heir apparent, very happy.  Not only that, but Bruno's girlfriend, Elena ends up falling in love with Alejandro.

What are Alejandro and his mother talking about?

Alejandro is distraught because he received a message in a bottle that said that Elena had died while giving birth to their son.  He was thinking about killing himself until the spirit of his mother appeared.  What Alejandro doesn't know is that it was actually Bruno who dropped that message in the ocean, to make Alejandro think that Elena is dead.

Did Elena already give birth?

Yes, she gave birth while in a coma, but the baby came out fine.  Unfortunately, Elena's sister was left in charge of the baby.

Is that Elena's sister?

Yes.  She wanted to become a European model, and was offered a free trip to France to be photographed for a magazine.  But whole thing was a scam, and now she's being forced into prostitution in Paris, and the pimps have the baby.  One of her clients is a powerful French Congressman, and he has fallen in love with her and is planning on taking her away with him to his villa in the Riviera, where they can get married and raise Elena's baby.

Is that Alejandro being dragged to shore by the waves?

No, that's Bruno.  Everyone believes Alejandro died in the plane crash, and since Bruno is still on the run from the police for having kidnapped Elena, he has decided to impersonate his twin brother, Alejandro, and pretend to have survived the plane crash by washing up on the shores of Medellin.

And Elena is waking up from her coma...

Yes, and Bruno is by her bedside pretending to be Alejandro.  But it seems like Elena is suffering from amnesia and does not remember anyone named Alejandro, and she's asking to see her boyfriend Bruno.  But Bruno can't tell her he's Bruno because then he'll be sent to prison.

I see...

What's probably going to happen is that Elena will fall in love with Bruno, believing she's falling in love with Alejandro for the first time all over again, and Alejandro will somehow make his way back to Medellin (he's already started building a raft), confront his twin brother, Bruno will die, and Alejandro and Elena will get married.  Elena's sister and the Congressman will attend the wedding and Alejandro and Elena will be meet their child for the first time.

How do you know?

I've seen hundreds of these shows.  They're pretty predictable.

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